The other day, someone told me, “Oh my gosh, your life is so put together…” And my immediate reaction was just to laugh and think, “Oh, if only you knew.”
Confession time: I am currently walking out of a season of really bad anxiety and depression, something nobody knows except for my immediate family and close friends. I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad for me or take pity on me, but rather, to shed light on something that isn’t often talked about, especially on a “put together Christian blogger’s” social media accounts.
Anxiety is something I’ve dealt with my entire life on a minimal level, but depression is something I never thought I would become so closely acquainted with. It was probably a good month or two before I even noticed that it had slowly but surely crept into my life.
There would be a few really good days and then lots of really bad dark and lonely days.. And on those dark lonely days, life seemed very hopeless, even though I knew full well that was the opposite of the truth because my hope was, still is, and will always be in Jesus. I remember the moment that I had to stare depression in its ugly face and tell it that it no longer had a place in my life.
I was doing my makeup one morning before work… I was probably doing my mascara, when I slowly stopped and went into a weird daze for a good couple of minutes and just thought to myself, “Why is my life feeling so dark and sad right now? My life is wonderful. I’m working towards my dream career, I’m interning at an amazing church, I have great friends. So why am I battling anxiety and depression and why does it feel like I’m losing the battle?”
Right after this thought, I stopped what I was doing and texted my mom. I told her that I was depressed, that it wasn’t pretty, and that we needed to figure out how to make it go away. My sweet momma immediately rallied around me and encouraged me with scripture and prayer. (Shoutout to my momma, you’re really the best there is and I’m so so thankful for you.)
That didn’t make the anxiety or depression go away… It lingered around me like the dark foggy haze that it is. But, I was determined to fight it with everything left in me…
While I’m walking out of that really dark season, it doesn’t mean that everything is sunshine and rainbows now. There are still some dark days, BUT I know how to fight them when they come.
Here’s a few ways that I found helpful to fight anxiety and depression:
- TELL SOMEONE. Talk to someone that will speak truth and life into your circumstance. Tell someone who will keep you accountable, who will give you solid biblical advice. Just tell someone. That’s half the battle.
- Memorize scripture to speak over yourself when the days are dark and lonely.
- ” But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” – Isaiah 40:31
- “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” – Isaiah 43:2
- “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:5-6
- “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10
- “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7
- Blare worship music. When you are truly and genuinely worshipping Jesus, everything else going on in your life just falls to the background. “Reckless Love” by Cory Asbury literally was my theme song for months. One line gets me every time, “When I felt no worth, You paid it all for me.” I sang that song over and over again, believing it with everything left in me — which, if I’m being honest, wasn’t much.
- Know that it’s okay not to be okay. I don’t wish depression or anxiety on anyone, but I will say that God wastes nothing. If I hadn’t gone through that season, I wouldn’t be able to relate to soooo many others who have or are going through the same thing. Nothing is wasted. God grew me and stretched me further than I thought was possible during that time.
- Surround yourself with a solid support system. People that will love you through it, not try to fix you. If you don’t have people like this in your life, pray pray pray for them… OR reach out to me, I would love to be that person for you.
- See a doctor. In my case, a big factor of the depression and anxiety was because of a certain medication I was on. Getting off of it helped A TON! It doesn’t hurt to at least go and talk to the doctor about your options.
For me, my depression and anxiety wasn’t circumstantial or because of anything specific going on in my life. Depression and anxiety looks different for everyone, but no matter how it looks, let’s get the conversation started about it.
If you are walking through a season of anxiety and depression, know that you are not alone. I hope that the things that helped me get through it are helpful to you too. Know that God is with you through it all, Deuteronomy 31 tells us that He will NEVER leave us, He’s right there with you! And lastly, know that I am here and so willing to talk to you and walk with you through this season. PLEASE don’t hesitate to reach out. You can either message me on Instagram @annajobaker or email me @ [email protected]
If you’ve walked through this kind of season and you have helpful ways to fight it or advice you would like to share, PLEASE comment and share! Let’s get the conversation started.