How To Deal With Singleness During The Holidays

Y’all! It’s the most wonderful time of the year! I love this time of year so much because with it brings cooler weather (and all the Floridians said AMEN), friends and family, and intentional celebration of Jesus’ birth.

While this season can be filled with so much joy and sweetness, it can also be a really challenging time to walk through. For whatever reason, feelings associated with loss, grief, and loneliness are at an all-time high during this season.

I have several friends who have experienced some unimaginable losses within the last few weeks and months. And it sucks. I don’t understand it and I can’t even begin to comprehend it. BUT, the only way they’re getting through it is because of Jesus. (Ps. Hey friends, if this is you, know that I’m praying hard for you. Cling to Jesus, His grace is sufficient to carry you through.)

While some are experiencing feelings of grief and loss, there are a good handful of people I know (including myself) who are desperately trying to navigate singleness through the holidays. I get it, friend, me too. This kind of heartache definitely does not compare to the pain of loss and grief, but that doesn’t lessen the presence of it in the slightest.

Let me start with a BIG disclaimer: I DO NOT HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS. Like, at all… Not even close, y’all. But, I do know what helps me navigate these feelings and I think it’s worth sharing.

Here are a few things that help me get through the deafening tones of loneliness and singleness throughout the holidays:

  1. Remember that you aren’t alone in this. Even Jesus needed to be ministered to at times.

In Matthew 4:1-11, we see Jesus being tempted by Satan. (See, you aren’t alone in this either. Even Jesus was tempted.) In verse 11, after Satan tried tempting Jesus time and time again, Satan left and angels came to minister to Jesus. (You aren’t alone in this either. It’s okay to feel the need to be ministered to, even Jesus did.)

  1. The blood of Christ saved your soul, but the Word of God can save your mind.

When the stings of loneliness, anxiety, and sadness come your way, take those feelings as indicators to get to Jesus. When you catch yourself slipping into those sometimes consuming headspaces, stop what you’re doing and get with your Maker. Read your Bible (or your phone screen), put on a worship song, OR hey here’s a smart idea, just talk to Him!

  1. Today’s decisions are tomorrow’s sadness or celebrations

This one really gets me. If I choose to dwell on my relationship status rather than soaking up all of the goodness that comes with this Christmas season, then I am missing the point. We hear it all the time, “JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON.” So why on earth don’t we live like we truly believe it? Chose today, and every day, to claim victory over your feelings and emotions in Jesus name! Feelings and emotions are great, I mean God created us to have them. They become a problem when they take precedence over Jesus.

  1. When I feel disappointed by God, it’s because at that moment there’s something I’m longing for more than Him.

Often times, when we are consumed with feelings of loneliness, it is because we are looking for something else to satisfy our longings other than Jesus.

“So, when I’m disappointed by God, there’s a problem with my faith. I’m not trusting that God Himself is who He says He is for me in Jesus. I’m not trusting Him as my all-satisfying treasure.” – I don’t remember who said it, sorry…

  1. Maybe instead of praying for our circumstances to change, we should be praying for our heart to change.

This one is so hard. Singleness doesn’t have to be a miserable season. In fact, it shouldn’t be. Instead of asking God to change your circumstances, ask Him to give you the eyes to see things in a different light! Perspective is everything.

  1. Choose to love yourself.

Loneliness often creates room for us to pick ourselves apart. “If I just changed this about myself… THEN, I wouldn’t be lonely and single.” Beginning to like yourself comes from knowing yourself. Knowing yourself comes from knowing what God says about you and that starts in the Word of God. In order to truly know and love yourself, you have to first know the Word of God.

  1. Being single is not a disease. It’s a season.

It’s a season, which means it won’t last forever (for the majority of people, anyway.) Also, if you think that marriage is going to fix everything and finally make you happy, you have another thing coming for ya… Sorry.

  1. Run to Jesus.

I can’t stress this enough. If you are constantly searching for satisfaction in anything other than Jesus, you are running a race that you will never win. His grace is sufficient, even when _____. (Fill in the blank with literally anything.)

I know that navigating this season can be challenging. It makes it even worse when no one is talking about it and bringing light to the situation. I hope this blog post encourages you and lets you know that you are definitely not alone. But most importantly, I pray that this blog post points you to the all-satisfying Price of Peace. Because at the end of the day, it’s all for Him and it’s all for His glory.

Merry Christmas!

Xoxo, AJ.

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